Storm’s Coming Mr. Wayne

May 05, 2026 ·

Suddenly woke up around 4 AM hearing a thud on my bedroom door last night. What was that? Maybe I was imagining things. Another thud. Right outside. More sounds of movement. More thuds. Movement. Unmistakable sounds of movement right outside. Mind starts racing. I'm being robbed is my immediate thought. Am I dreaming? Please tell me I am imagining this. Another thud. I tiptoed to the door putting my ear to it. More sounds outside; I pictured someone walking around and picking things up. I didn't know what to do or how to act. I am not making this up, this really happened last night. I stood there a while at first, I had literally just woken up. I was still hoping it was some kind of a dream or another explanation could make sense of it. More sounds. I then tiptoed to the bathroom and grabbed a hammer. It was time to face it. I started walking around loudly and turned the lights on, waited, then stormed out.

All clear. It was my automated vacuum cleaner. Stuck under a chair by now. It had somehow triggered itself on after I moved stuff around it last night. That only added up after. Everything added up, only after. What a sigh of relief. A funny moment, but only after. Again, this really, actually happened last night and I didn't know what to do when I first heard the sounds. I mentally signed up to lose my stuff, started taking inventory of what my most cherished things were. What I'd be able to start a new life with. What I'd miss. This was real. And in retrospect, I now laugh that in moments where I thought I was about to lose potentially everything, I imagined having at least some of my dumb digital assets to my name still. Funny. But only in retrospect.

I then went back to sleep and woke up a few hours later to see Coinbase was letting 14% of their staff go. Brian Armstrong's note was well written and humane I thought, but the message was clear: they're freeing up cash prepping for AI. I then saw Haun raised a $1 billion USD crypto fund, and then that a16z also raised a new $2+ billion USD crypto round. Curious synchronicity between these announcements in short order. Plus, I recently wrote briefly about USVC which is Naval's new fund. What should one make of this? Where will this money go? Who will this benefit? It's time for the eternal recurrence, Mr. Wayne. Storm's coming. What will this thing be called once we're able to fully explain what's behind the door that we're hearing thuds and noises about?

Surviving a Stagecoach Robbery by Andy Thomas here.